10 ways to bag a movie award!

From movies to movie stars everything in the world of Bollywood/Hollywood is filmi (read: bizarre). Then how can the criteria of winning an award be far behind? The more filmi the role, the better chances you stand to win one.

With the Filmfare's just over and Oscars to go on March 7, we list 10 ways to bag an award!

1. Play a "high" guy

Get sloshed. Get stoned. Flirt with some other girl in spite of being in love with someone else. Any actor who wants to play a ‘good boy’ who doesn’t smoke, doesn’t gamble and is monogamous, will win hearts but he’ll definitely NOT win an award.

Eg: Shah Rukh Khan in Devdas. Even thespian Dilip Kumar for that matter won an award for being a drunken mess! Nicolas Cage won the Oscar for his exemplifying performance as a drunkard in Leaving Las Vegas.


2. Challenge yourself! [Play a "challenged" character]

There is no empathy for a person who has all the five senses. In order to get some compassion from the jury members you need to be blind, deaf, dumb or autistic. A big natural flaw will work wonders. Harsh but true. You may have to live with being a butt of all jokes throughout the movie but once the film is over, it’s you who will have the last laugh. Playing a mentally challenged role doesn’t go unnoticed. Whether its junta or the jury, everyone loves a story is heart-breaking.

Eg: Hrithim Roshan in Koi Mil Gaya or Darsheel Safari in Taare Zameen Par, Rani Mukerji in Black or Kajol in Fanaa or Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump, SRK in My Name is Khan (sure-fire winner next year)



3. Shoot the cops, blow up the cars...

Terrorise people, do hafta-vasooli, roam around with AK-47’s, visit dance bars, use profanity… in short play a role of a gangster. There is no way you’ll lose when you’re armed and dangerous.

Eg: Sanjay Dutt in Vaastav or Ajay Devgn in Company or Marlon Brando in Godfather.



4. Kill your husband!

Yes you read it right. What’s with wives giving their husband the status of God! Pati Parmeshwar days are gone, now is time for a revolution. And bring that revolution by killing your husband.

Eg: Rekha in Khoon Bhari Maang or Seema Biswas in Bandit Queen.

5. Play a dying man

There is nothing more heart wrenching than to see a person you love dying, more so if you’ve struck a chord with the audience with your character. They’ll cry for you and pray for you till the movie gets over and once its over they’ll cry more. Your death will ensure an award.

Eg: Rajesh Khanna in Anand or Tom Hanks in Philadelphia


6. Be a gay!

Playing a straight guy won’t guarantee a nomination let alone winning an award. Bollywood may not have any openly gay movie stars, but they certainly reward actors who've potrayed homosexuality onscreen.

Eg: Abhishek Bachchan in Dostana or Sean Penn in Milk.

7. Play cricket!

Cricket could might as well have been our national game. Cricket is like a religion, it has no competition not even Bollywood. If there was a popularity contest between Sachin and Shah Rukh, Sachin would win hands down. So how can a movie based on cricket fail?

Eg. Aamir Khan in Lagaan.


8. Kiss the girls and then kill them

A life of a serial killer is fascinating and it’s even more interesting when the victims are young beautiful girls. Playing a psychopath will definitely lead you to the path of glory.

Eg: Ashutosh Rana in Dushman or Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs.


9. Play a character half your age

The jury will appreciate your talent if you play a character half your age. The younger the character (than you actually are ) better are your shots of going home with the trophy.

Eg: Aamir Khan in 3 Idiots or Amitabh Bachchan in Paa.

If nothing works...

10. Do Chaiya Chaiya

Get on the top of train and start dancing. It won’t get you a nomination but it will get you recognition for sure. Your choreographer will recognise your dancing skills, your director will recognise your multi-talents but most importantly of all the Virar and Kalyan local guys will recognise you as a brave hero/heroine. Anyone who can dance on the top of a moving train is a hero according to them.

Eg: SRK in Dil Se!

If you have any filmi ideas that can win an award, then leave us a comment and let us know.