Poetic romance

Image courtesy: BCCL

Love has evolved. Practicality now takes precedence over emotions. Individual lives are increasingly intervening in the amalgamation of two souls. In the constant quest of trying to have it all, people battle the fear of losing all they have. Pre-conceived notions, pre-set moulds of idealistic love and great expectations are all fragments of insecurities rooted in the betrayal of love. When did love become so complicated?

I think the beauty of love is that you can’t define it. Sometimes the small things are the most important; such as the joy of sharing silences together. When you listen to a song or look at a flower or even a dried leaf, and all you see is that person, you know you’re in love.

The butterflies in your stomach, the desire to be close to your loved one all the time, away from the prying world; you just don’t know the reason why you love someone. It’s like a secret between two people; a secret that they themselves don’t know! And I think the day I figure out what love is, I’ll be incapable of it.

Doin’ it old-school

I believe in classic love and old-school romance. I’d love to be wooed by beautiful words and classic poetry, just like Naseer (Naseeruddin Shah) sahab’s character Khalujaan does in Ishqiya. In the olden days, restraint was the binding force that enabled the relationship to be long-lasting. I think that’s why it is called ‘classic’ love.

In today’s times, love is very physical. People first get intimate and then discover each other. But sometimes disappointment sets in, as the intensity and passion tend to die down after being together physically first. And then it doesn’t seem as exciting to know the person for who he/she is.

With classic love, things were just the opposite. They began with getting to know each other first, and then they’d move on to form a physical bond. I believe classic love does exist. I know I am capable of it. Besides, I know many people around me who perpetuate that, and they are inspiring. For me, there are no rules in love.

Everything is fair. But it isn’t fair to lose yourself in the process. Acceptance is very crucial, but you need to accept both, yourself and the other. That is truly love.

Back to the present

Currently, I’m in love with my work. I dreamt of being an actor since I was 11, but didn’t know how to get there. I began doing ads, and also worked on a television serial and many music videos, but films caught me off-guard. Then again, things didn’t come gift-wrapped.

I went through a very rough phase where I was called ugly and even a jinx. I couldn’t see myself in the mirror. I only had faith in God, and my parents’ support. I’ve been fortunate to do the kind of work that not only makes me happy, but also helps me to grow—personally and professionally. Be it Parineeta’s Lalita to Guru’s Meenakshi, my journey has been unique and memorable. I constantly attempt at challenging myself with different roles.

My character Krishna in Ishqiya pushed me out of my comfort zone, forcing me to defy every norm in the book. I worked very hard on essaying an authentic portrayal of an uneducated yet bold woman, who not only uses expletives and firearms, but also uses her sexual aggression to get what she wants.

Defying conventions

With experience, I learnt to disconnect and cut out the criticisms and comparisons. I’m comfortable in my own skin now. I follow a process to try to achieve a certain level of perfection. I ask a lot of questions. I read the script and understand whether I have to learn anything new.

In Ishqiya, I had to polish my driving skills; in Guru, I had to learn to work a wheelchair; I even spoke to people with multiple sclerosis to gauge the emotional anguish one goes through. I do this for every film. So then when I’m in front of the camera, I’m just performing, there’s nothing external. The moment takes over.

My love affair with cinema will not be restricted only to acting. I’d love to act for as long as it makes me happy. But I have no set plans. I do intend to go abroad and take a course in filmmaking or music (classical, fusion or trance), but I definitely want to work.

Classic love tales

The perfect date

On my ideal date, I would love to go on a long drive to an unknown place, sit quietly by the river with soft music and candles forming the backdrop, and of course, good food!

The perfect man

My ideal man would have to be Gulzar sahab 30 years younger!

The perfect wedding

I would ideally want a traditional wedding; a personal affair with my closest friends and family. And I definitely want to wear the traditional Kanjeevaram maroon and gold sari; that’s something I’m not going to give up whether I get married in India or Miami!