Love, actually!

What is classic love? I had heard stories of my mother – who was born in the early 20th century – and her concept of love. Like any society, the movies of the times played the most important role to form an opinion and attitude to any subject, especially to love.

My mother was in Kolkata. For her, meeting my father before marriage was an exciting event. The letter sent inside the pages of a book used to be carried by a common friend to my father! Of course, she wasn’t fortunate to send SMSes or call on mobiles!

Falling in love was a taboo in those days. Now – ‘falling out of love’ – is not even a big deal! A few days back, a friend very innocently asked my husband and me a question: “How are you guys still married!” Yes, I suppose society has changed rapidly. Even being married for a long period is considered a ‘personal achievement’.

So then, ‘What is the USP of a marriage?’ Earlier, marriages were common and taken for granted. Today, society has evolved. Salute to Darwin! Once upon a time, I used to hear my mother saying how she used to meet my father and go on tonga rides. Classic thrills, I suppose! After seeing a Hollywood movie, they even went ahead for a subtle kiss on the back of a car. And that was a major crime during those days.

I remember I had my first kiss when I was 14. It shook my world. It was sudden and beautiful and has remained unique in my life. The other day, when I suddenly entered my son’s room, he was kissing his girlfriend. My son came to me, feeling awkward. I smiled and remarked that it’s not a crime – enjoy.

Love has the unique feeling of being vulnerable and wanted. It’s universal and not bound by any time and period. The best change I see is the fear of intimacy evaporating. There’s so much more breathing space.

The lack of exposure and information made my mother’s generation dependent on elders. Now, the internet is enough for information without giving one the feeling of high handedness. I believe that in love, communication is crucial. If you are in love, just say it, simple and loud.

When I met my husband in a bus, after a few days, there was no point in wasting our times trying to find out how much we love each other. Because, for me, love is direct and clear – no beating around the bush.

I looked into your eyes
isn’t eye the reflection of our mind.
a quite smile lingers on my lips when I first saw you,
when 14.
-Eyes